recurring

For some reason, I’ve been seeing a lot of posts online and they basically fall into 2 categories.

The first: posts about why Singaporeans do/don’t like Singapore. Most of these are written by people who have studied overseas and realised that Singapore holds nothing for them anymore. Some openly diss it, and others write with a firm regret. I used to think that I would take the first opportunity I get to migrate somewhere else, but now I’m not so sure.

Singapore’s got plenty of flaws, but what country doesn’t? I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I love Singapore, but that’s just because, after having had the blessing to travel to so many countries and live in 3 (Singapore, the US and Australia), my rose-tinted glasses have been chucked aside. I guess I have come to the realisation that one place is almost the same as any other. Every country’s got it’s flaws and beauty. I don’t blame Singaporeans for leaving, and I don’t look down on those who choose to stay. Singapore’s not bad, it’s just different.

Singapore is the place I was born, and it’s where my family is. As the years pass, I have less and less that holds me to Singapore, mainly because I travel more and my circle of friends is now bigger. But as I travel and spend more time overseas, my circle of friends in Singapore has become smaller and smaller. When I go back, or think of going back. I can only think of a handful of friends that I really need to meet up with.

Home. Where is it now? Sometimes I feel that home is where my family is, but then other times I think home is where I make it. I’ve been away for 7 months now. There are things I miss, times I miss being back with my family and the hustle and bustle of living in SG, where there’s always something to do, people to meet, things to eat. But in the past 7 months, compared to the sum total of almost 3 years now that I’ve been away, I’ve missed home lesser than any of the other times I’ve left. I guess I’m just getting used to it.

Slightly more than halfway through the semester now. Point: for this moment, in this time, I just wanna go home.

The second category: people writing about love. Nothing new there. But so many really wonderful articles are being posted about the reality and practicality of love. No more Disney fairy tale stuff, and not the other extreme either. I Didn’t Love My Wife When We Got Married, The True Story of a Seven Year Marriage and Wait are just examples of the numerous that have been appearing on my newsfeed.

These articles are encouraging because they are examples that remind us that we aren’t looking for perfection in a marriage, that a marriage brings flawed people together and that it takes a lot of work and determination to keep it together. It also reminds us that it’s ok to fail, it’s ok to wake up some days and not like the person sleeping next to you. But the key is moving on from there. What then should you choose to do? Give up, throw in the towel, and look for someone new? No. Because the same mistakes are going to happen again, because you are the one making them.

A marriage is one where you decide, between the two of you, that no matter what mistakes the two of you make, that you commit to standing by each other, to forgive, not necessarily to forget, to live together, to grow together, to walk through the seasons of life together, and to love even when it’s the hardest thing to do. There’s so much more to a marriage than I can begin to even guess at, but yet, it’s also the simplest thing. Do you, or do you not, choose to love a person, whenever, wherever, however…

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