The last week or so I have no idea how many times I’ve come to this page and just sat staring and wondering what I should or can blog about.
No point blogging about some angsty thing or other because… oh well. What’s the point?
So….
I started reading Edmund Chan’s Cultivating Your Inner Life as part of my holiday goal to read at least 2 Christian books. It’s a really easy read and yet it’s a really good book. I’ve taken to writing down what impacts me the most from each chapter that I read every night after my QT. I’ve only read 3 chapters so far, but the first chapter and the third chapter has really stuck with me I think.
Only one line in the first chapter really stuck with me. “I waited in silence”, but I think this one line says more than it seems to does it not? It’s not just about the earnest praying, the going out and actually doing things, but it’s also about the times when you are quiet in the presence of God, just waiting for Him to input into your life and to point out things that you need to work on or… Hmmm… You know how it’s like with people you love, when you’re content simply to just sit next to each other in silence, when you have run out of things to talk about and you’re enjoying just being with each other? Yep.
Especially when I’m alone in my room, I’m not very comfortable with complete silence and a quiet spirit. When I’m doing my QT at least my brain is working and my thoughts are noisy. But after QT when I’m just sitting there, I’m usually either singing or talking to God out loud. Sitting there in silence is disconcerting usually.
Anyhoos. The other thing last night was about surrender. So many things jumped out at me that I’m hard pressed to type it all down cause I left my notebook at home. But I guess surrender is nothing new. I’ve always struggled with God over what’s logical to my human mind and what He says that doesn’t seem logical to me. I’ve always struggled with letting go of my own expectations and dreams and letting Him steer the ship for me. It’s kind of a control thing I guess. I’m learning. But there’s such a long way more to go, especially in this season of my life. I need to learn to just let God set the pace.
So….
Yep, I miss the passion and fellowship of the UQ 1 & 2 peeps. I miss immersing myself so much in the things of God cause Now I’m spending my days in the office and when I get home I’m so tired I just wanna drop. But I just realised that one of my holiday goals when I’m here in SG was to attend LG. So I will. Tonight.
Let’s see how it goes! 
Today’s song: When The Rain Comes – Third Day
I can’t stop the rain from falling down on you again
I can’t stop the rain
But I will hold you till it goes away
