I’m feeling a little hmmm and a little uhhhh….
It’s a little bit of this and that.
Did I do something or not do something and so I missed a chance? Or was there no chance in the first place? It was stimulating and made life all the more interesting while it lasted? Wait lasted? ha. for like what 3 days.
It was that familiar face. The kinda face I knew I had seen somewhere, and got myself a headache trying to figure out where. And then, figuring out that I probably just saw someone who looked similar and not the same.
I have concluded that one of the first things that attract me is a guy’s height. Next is probably his overall look. No shaggy sloppy guys for me, nope. Well then of course is his voice/language. I cannot imagine a future boyfriend who speaks in broken sentences and horrid enunciation and pronunciation… eeeewwwww. But yes, a guy’s height is really the first thing. Perhaps not the most important, but the first anyway.
I felt a little disappointed. While I walked dazedly out of school today (due to lack of sleep) I kept looking around. And then I was reminded of that horrid chapter in my JC chinese text “bei ying”. er… back shadow? direct translation of course.
But then again, when I got home, the first thing i did was totally out of my boundaries of sensible behavior. now perhaps that was worse and warrants me using ‘disgusted’. then again maybe not. ok yes, if you go according to my personal scale, but not if u use the general scale, that is comparing to others. still…
Yes, I know i’m not making any sense at all. But I understand what I’m trying to express even though these random paragraphs may not seem to link to each other at all. I believe I am thinking about just one incident, which has elicited many feelings. I guess first and foremost now is disgust… with myself? ok perhaps disgust is too strong a word. on second thought, it definitely is. the ‘why’ i shall keep to myself. probably because i still cannot believe myself, and second probably because i’m just being silly.
well obviously i need to sleep. look what kinda post I write after camp.
feeling hemmed in though.
